“The only shame in masturbation is the shame of not doing it well.” – Sigmund Freud
Hi, I’m LSB and I’m a wanker!!
When this quote was forwarded to me as a suggestion for this week’s prompt, I will admit to pausing and wondering if I should use it. The quote can be broken down and looked at in many ways and the reason I opted to use it was for me personally masturbation needs to be spoken about more and more importantly the stigma around it. I have written about my favourite ways to wank on the blog before and back when I started blogging one of the first posts I wrote was actually about masturbation and why it is important. So I decided to go ahead and use it and encourage others to speak about it too.
There still is so much stigma attached to masturbation, even now in 2021(!!!) which in itself should be shameful to even write. But sadly, accurate. Personally, I find there is more stigma attached to it when someone speaks about a person who is female or was assigned female at birth. If you have a cock, it seems to be your god-given right to have a wank and shout about it. However, I refer back to my tweets a few weeks back that I shouldn’t be using the words ‘wank’ or ‘jack off’ because I, myself, don’t have a cock between my legs, which in my opinion, is a load of horse shit. My thoughts, my opinions, and my choice to use whichever set of words I feel fit. What I equally find strange is I actually have professional wanker in all my bios across all platforms I use and have done pretty much for the last 6 years so are we actually going backwards? It is only now someone feels it is ok to target my wank bank vocabulary?!
So hello, I’m LSB and I am a wanker. Actually a professional wanker!
Women and folks that have been assigned female at birth suffer huge erasure when it comes to pleasure in general but even more so when it comes to masturbation. I even find it seems ok for us to use toys because the industry has literally boomed but when it comes to actually getting in touch with yourself, learning what your body tick seems to still have a very shushy shushy vibe to it yet the act of self-care is widely promoted. Masturbation is self-care – touching your body and knowing what makes you tick is self-care. Passing all those tips onto your partner(s) is self-care!
Full disclosure, I hadn’t ever heard of Sigmund Freud when this quote was forwarded to me. I read the words and I pondered if folks truly would have something to say about them. While I see what is wrong with the quote, I equally see a positive side too. To me, I see “The only shame in masturbation is the shame of not doing it well” as a way that you should be trying different things to figure out what works for you.. ie. if you try x, y, or z and it doesn’t get off well maybe you need to go back and try a. I am fully aware the wording of the quote is wrong and using the word shame adds a very different tone to the quote.
To fully understand Freud, I did go reading a little bit about him and decided to swiftly close the page after I read something on the lines of women being disadvantaged because they don’t have a penis. So yeah… I won’t be doing any more digging on him.
Anyway, back to the quote – long story short, we are all entitled to pleasure regardless of how we identify or what is between our legs. Shame and masturbation should never go together in the same sentence unless that sentence is – “break the shame associated with masturbation”.