I have sat with my thoughts since the Kinkly list came out and wondered where exactly I stand amongst it all.
In the grand scheme of things, the list really doesn’t do much for me regarding traffic etc, and I have never allowed followed links back to Kinkly so they don’t get much from me either. But the list really meant more to me than that traffic. When I started blogging in April 2016 and made their newcomers top 5 that year, the burst of excitement and pride I felt was unwordable. To be featured amongst other bloggers I looked up was just bloody incredible. That feeling is better than traffic. That feeling you are good enough to be there. It is a feeling you can’t buy.
Sadly this year (well maaaybe not just this year), Kinkly made it extremely obvious that really their list is nothing more than a load of shit! They gave their top newcomer spot to a blogger who was actually blogging for 4 years, which would make you wonder if they just stuck a load of names in a hat and pulled one out! That alone without all the other bullshit is really saddening because when you have just taken the plunge and jumped outta the nest and become a newly fledged sex blogger winning an award on a list around people you admire is a big fucking deal.
To Kinkly though you are another way of feeding their link juice.
That was the first straw but the one that broke the camel’s back was in fact, that same blogger was also part of the huge transphobic outbreak that spread its toxic disease amongst the sex blogging community earlier this year. When it was pointed out to Kinkly, they basically said – well fuck it, it isn’t our job to police the internet and yes, Kinkly, you are right – it isn’t your job to police the internet. But it is your job to police your lists when you also make the claim your site is a safe, inclusive space.
Last week, when our Sex Blogging Superheroes was released, accusations came out against certain bloggers. After careful consideration and deliberation, we do not feel comfortable removing these bloggers from the Superheroes list. … Continued in thread 1/5
That was Kinkly’s response when loads of us flooded their feed with our worry, our anger, and our utter dismay that a platform with such a high reach was actively promoting unsafe spaces to their readers.
However, when you look on the Kinkly site you get a different approach:
“Here at Kinkly, we think that conversation is also how we can all learn how to have sex that’s safer, more respectful and, as a result, more pleasurable for everyone involved.”
What a load of horseshit, Kinkly
How you claim a space that is safer and more respectable is beyond me because you are doing neither by allowing your lists to be flooded with transphobes. You are advertising spaces and promoting blogs that are written by transphobes and allowing your readers to be sucked into a false sense of security. A false sense of belonging. That Kinkly, is utterly fucked up!!
2020 has been enough of fuck show already! Thanks for adding more fuel to fire!
I really hope that if enough of us make a stand you may consider vetting your lists correctly and making them safe, inclusive spaces for all genders. Kinkly has the power to be something good. Use your platform to be a safe space to educate. Please.
Also, just so you are aware – trans folks come under the LGBTIA+ umbrella. Stand together. Be an ally.