“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.” – Albert Einstein
A quote very appropriate for the current climate we all find ourselves in and realistically one that we see no end to either. Maintaining balance in relationships and friendships is hard at the best of times. Add in Covid and it is a whole other ball game.
When Covid originally came about and we were all lockdown in our homes, I will admit to actually really enjoying it. We had just finished a really hard year of working nonstop and the idea of having my husband literally on tap really pleased me. For the first six weeks or so, everything was brilliant. All the sex and cuddles I wanted until the schools shut too and then the house suddenly became extremely crowded. No spare time together, the kids needing us, our sleep schedules went to shit, and suddenly seeing his face every day was no longer through the lustful eyes that were there a few weeks ago but instead, I wanted time to myself. As did he. The balance we once had was gone.
At the best of times, we both run a very tight schedule. We need to work on time together for it to happen and we didn’t. Neither of us did. I tried and got resentful at his lack of enthusiasm and when he tried, I spat my dummy out and licked the wounds that appeared a few weeks previously instead. Add the kids into that mix and well life at home was getting on our wick. My sex drive was there, barely, while his seemed to disappear altogether.
Life stayed like this for many weeks until we both ended up back at work.
The busy schedules returned and funny enough, so did the need for each other. Being out and about, the hustle and the bustle of everyday life meant that we missed each other again. The addition of work and exercise and not seeing each other faces meant we had time to actually miss each other. The balance of the needs and wants in our relationship started to return to what it once was – more importantly, our sex drives returned with a fire behind them, once we reached out to each other. We both can be as stubborn as each other so it took time, but a kiss here and a little grab there.
We have since started to reschedule time for each other again but it hasn’t been easy to get back to where we once were but equally, making time for each other has made us realise there are aspects of our relationship that were there that had disappeared. To regain the balance that was once there will take work and a lot of communication. We are a strong couple. I have no doubt about that but when you are living it, in the middle of it, and being a highly sensitive and emotional person like I am, it was hard. Really fucking hard. There were days where all I did was cry. I cried in the shower where no one could see me. My heart ached for the us that was once there.
I know we are lucky. We have spent this entire trash fire that is the covid pandemic together. I know there are so many out there that haven’t seen their loved one in months.
It is hard to maintain balance however strong you are as a couple. Relationships and even friendships take work. They are about give and take. Sometimes that can be hard to do. Covid has made me realise many things but the biggest ones are how strong our relationship is and how fast time is going. It is better to speak up instead of sitting there wondering the what ifs and whys? And I am thankful we can communicate together and voice our thoughts. More now than ever, because right now that’s all we can do. Stick togther, even though some of us are miles apart.
Stand up, dust yourself off and reach out.
Make time for each other.
Don’t think that the other will – you reach out first!
And in the middle of all that, make time for self-care. Looking after you and your own mental well being is even more important now than it ever was. Enjoy that bath, read that book, go for that walk.