“Wanking is only two letters away from working!” – Amy Norton
The prompt this week came about when I was chatting away to Amy from CoffeeandKink about something completely different and I asked her if she had any ideas for masturbation quotes (speaking of – if you do please reach out and lemme know). Then this quote came back as her suggestion and while I know it was meant in jest, it struck a chord with me, and thought it would a perfect quote to use for QuoteQuest.
The thing is when you start sex blogging and start including reviewing sex toys on your blog, it can swiftly change from having a wank and writing about it to work. Now don’t get me wrong, I love reviewing toys. It makes up such a huge chunk of my blog. Actually, until last year, it was mainly the content in my blog until something in me snapped.
More importantly, something in my relationship did.
You see, sex toys are awesome. They bring so much fun into our sex life but at one point, they were our sex life and once I realised this was happening, it was here I drew a line. These last two years have seen me refuse more products and receive very little in terms of reviews.
Even sex turned into work. The constant analyzing if something works – how does it feel? What would you change? to “oh god that hurts, can we just stop”. Nothing really sexy there but in fact, all truth.
It’s a pretty scary post for me to write as a sex blogger considering that I still review toys and adult products on my blog but just like my blog is no longer all about sex toys, neither is my sex life.
Reviewing toys and actually including them in our bed has been dramatically reduced. They are no longer dark clouds looming in the press but are now taken out and used for fun rather than just a review. In other words, I have gotten back to the original reasons I started my blog in the first place.
I will admit that not all products fall under this category. For example, I still dress up in lingerie and enjoy doing so. Not because I have a review to do but because I want to. We still bring toys to bed because we fancy it, not because I have a review owning, but because we want to.
There are many companies who have issues with my timelines for banging out reviews but I’m banging em out because I have banged one out (another way of saying having a wank in case my attempt at being smart failed lol 😀 ) and not because I have to deadline to hit. Personally, though, I prefer to use a toy multiple times and know exactly its in and outs, so to speak 😉
Long story short as much fun as sex toys can be when you start reviewing them as much as I was, they turned into a chore and a bore. The thing that should have been bringing fun to our time together was causing arguments because I was constantly trying to get reviews I had started, finished. I had forgotten the reasons why I wanted to write reviews in the first place. I started my blog as a space for informative reviews folks who wanted to spice things up and bring some fun to bed, not a space where reviews weren’t written how I wanted them to be because each word I would type would make me remember the argument from the night before.
This isn’t how it should be and thankfully, I noticed this was how things were and curbed it before it took over. Trying to balance being a mum, sex blogger, having a full-time job and a house two years ago turned me into a stressed-out dragon. Something snapped and since then, the last two years have seen me refuse more sex toys than I took on and I am happier because of it.
I am a sex blogger for the last 5 years and I love it! I can’t see me not blogging now. It has really become part of me – but now, you are getting to read fewer reviews, more us, more thoughts, feelings and the actual going ons of our sex life rather than whether or not a toy works for us or not! Of course, sex toys will still be featured here. We both use them, playing together, or playing apart. We both love them and enjoy all the pleasure they bring for us. However, they will be a feature of my blog, not my blog.
(Ps. I don’t class BDSM stuff as sex toys by the way – I am referring to vibrating, silicone, insertables etc… )