“We had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two.”
– Louis de Bernieres.
I got goosebumps when I read this quote. I have been wanting to write my thoughts on this since I read it but I couldn’t, as well as time not being on my side, neither was my head. Truth be told I spent all last week being an emotional wreck. It spilled somewhat in my social media but I really didn’t elaborate enough for anyone to really realise how bad I was.
As I mentioned throughout my blog so many times before I need a physical connection to cope. Our schedules are nuts right now! We are both working fulltime, at opposite times, and I am in college as well as here and running QuoteQuest. It is hard to balance it all and I had a bit of a rollercoaster of a week. Not because I am doing too much, I have done more but because my brain was being a complete asshole to me. My head has a canny knack just attacking me when I am down.
For example, he was in the kitchen one morning making coffee before leaving for work and I went out to him and stood and cried while he held me. Somehow my brain had totally convinced me that he didn’t want me, and if I were to spend one more minute with those feelings in me, eating me up, I could possibly explode. As he held me, stroking my head while I cried, he didn’t even speak because he didn’t need to. I knew.
I have always felt like something brought us together. I cannot exactly pinpoint what though but in all honesty, I don’t think I want to.
He makes me a better person. I want to be better because of him. I am equally certain he feels the exact same way. It is oddly strange how similar we are, yet each very different. We can go to a restaurant and glance through the menu and each end up picking the exact same thing. Like the same colours if we are decorating. We even have extremely similar tastes when it comes to women!
Of course, you could say that after over a decade of being together, we have rubbed off on each other and of course, that is correct to say so. I am sure we have, in many ways than one 😉
He just knows me. I know him too. Though I often pretend I don’t. He is a dark, mysterious Scorpio after all! I can’t let him know he has released the shield a bit lol. But he has and it took a lot for him to do so and I love him even more so for it. We are the kind of love that looks at each other and knows it is time for a cuppa and snuggle on the couch. The one that holds hands while we drive on the motorway on cruise control, the one that prefers nights out under the night sky, wrapped in a duvet together watching the stars, the one that doesn’t need to shave to have sexy time, the one that you can be 100% you – the raw kind. The one where he will love you, your snotty, red-faced cries, and the one where she will love you regardless of how many times you don’t need instructions when doing a flat pack.
He had his baggage when he met me and had mine. We felt something that drew us together and against all odds, we became us. We were two trees, who roots entwined and over time, love has brought us together and made us one.