It is hard to know where to start when it comes to bum fun. This anal guide will hopefully answer any questions you may have. It is full of tips and tricks from anal enthusiasts, myself included, that can hopefully make your anal experience fun and pleasant one.
Alllllll the lube:
So much lube, all of it in fact. Your bum doesn’t self lubricate so, therefore, it needs all the help it can get to make anal play a lot better. I wrote this extensive guide to lube, so that will give you tips but to give you a quick summary.
You’ll need a body-safe one, more aimed towards anal play such as SLiquid Sassy for example as it is thicker so can help give you some cushioning. You also need to think about the material of the toy you are using if you plan to use toys.
I would also lube your bum, all the toy/fingers, and add an extra blob at the tip of the toy or fingers just before you insert.
Silicone toy = waterbased lube
I have seen folk use lube applicators so that may be something to think about too. I have no personal experience with them so I can’t comment but they do look fun. I think if I were starting out with anal play again, they might be something I’d consider because they give peace of mind knowing I’ve got lube from all angles.
Taking your time is really the most important tip of all! In fact, that and using lube are really the most important ones to take away from this entire post but keep reading, there is lots more I want to tell you!
So time, yes, take your time. Relax, don’t push your body and know if you experience pain, stop, slow down etc. Becoming the taker of everything doesn’t happen over night.
Practice… Train your bum!
Practise makes perfect and it is definitely the case with anything relating to anal play. The anal sphincter is a muscle – but it can be trained to understand and relax. Try a lubed finger first, then progress to two or maybe a small butt plug. Try wearing it for a few minutes daily or even hours. Progress bigger until maybe you feel comfortable using a small dildo. If it hurts, stop, and relax. Maybe add more lube and then try again, maybe exciting yourself more with fingers first.
I also find that popping the toy in and out helps your butt understand what is gonna happen so your muscles start to release themselves. I also prefer to do this myself before we even start. I knowing I am control of the toy helps me relax more.
Silicone toys are the way to go as there is more give to them and they are not as harsh to insert as glass or metal. I speak from experience here.
Remember to use flared based toys and plugs otherwise your butt can suck them up
I have found myself that breathing with the insertion of a toy/penis/plug really helps me. I tend to breathe out and ever so slightly push against my anal muscle, as if I was going to the toilet, yeah I know all the sexy but come on here, we are talking about anal sex. I find at that very moment, if I try to insert and breathe in, it helps.
What is douching?
Douching is basically using water to rinse your bum out using a bulb enema or perhaps a shower version. From personal experience it is pain-free. I find the best way for me is on my back, legs resting on the toilet but honestly there is no right or wrong way to douche, Just as long as you are comfortable.
A long time question bouncing around – should you douche or not?
There really is no right or wrong answer to this. Long story short, if you engage in anal play there is a chance it could be messy! This is a fact. If you are with someone who makes a big deal outta this then you have several options but the biggest one would be stating the fact again, that yanno, this is anal sex and yes, there is a possibility it can be messy!
We have dabbled in actual anal sex throughout the years. My OH isn’t actually a big fan so it doesn’t actually happen too often. More often than not, if we do play it’s a dildo or a plug and usually spontaneous so I wouldn’t have douched. Most often than not, it is late at night and I would have already opened my bowels, if need, so it isn’t that messy! We always put a towel down anway!
There are many douching items available on the market from ones than attached to the shower, to bulb-shaped ones that you fill with water. Recently we got sent an electronic version ( the one in the picture on the right) to try out which was a first for us. It could be used both manually, squeezing it or inserting it and pressing a button and the water just comes out itself.
Whatever option you go for, just make sure it is made from bodysafe materials, lube it up before use and body temp water is best so you don’t burn your insides.
Don’t use anal numbing products
I mention this in my lube guide but Iam just echoing those thoughts again.
If your body is in pain, it means stop. Stop right now and see why!
Numbing products elimate your body’s abilites to be now something is wrong so please don’t use them. Explore, learn and try slowly. Understand how and why and then you will have absolotuy no need to use numbing products.
Anal Sex Positions
We always do anal in doggie or spoons but in all honestly, there is no right or wrong way…. whichever feels the most comfortable to you is the way to go!
Don’t do anal and vaginal sex in one session without wearing a condom!
This is a big one! Think cross-contaminate in the kitchen… Raw meat mixed with veg. You just don’t do it! You definitely don’t want all that bacteria that can be in your butt mixed in somewhere a lot more delicate so if you wanna double-dip, use a condom! Or have your own DP fantasy and use a dildo with your partner. Whatever you decide to do, protect your body, and play safe!
You don’t have to have anal sex…
So you have come here and you want all the tips for anal play and still feel ugh! Please know there should be no pressure for you to engage in anal. This should be something YOU want to do. YOU!
Don’t be afraid to say NO!
Some tips from other readers
Change into different positions – the one that works for someone else might not for you.
Practice in the shower – it might make you less anxious about the possible mess
And of course, all comments that people echoed were – communicate, communicate, communicate!! And use allllllllll the lube!!
Have you got any tips? Let me know below <3
Post contains some affiliate links.
Images used belong to the mentioned company.