Every Damn Day In JuneSinful Sunday

Fresh Air – Sinful Sunday #480

posted by LSB June 20, 2020 17 Comments

“Sometimes falling
apart is the way
we shake loose the
pieces that just
don’t belong anymore.
It’s as natural as
the wind and rain.
So cry if you need
to. Scream if you
must.
But never lose sight
of what it really is.
A thunderstorm that
clears the air.”
― JmStorm

_____________

 I planned to use a different image today but I think this one more reflects how I feel right now. I knew when I woke I should have stayed off twitter. Since I lost my other account, each day I go on there feels like a kick into the face. 10 or so days later and I haven’t heard a word. I have decided to take some time out from Twitter for a few days but in relation to my tweets earlier….

___________________

Lockdown, at the start, wasn’t so bad. We had more time together, more time to be together. However, that has very much changed in the last six or seven weeks. Lockdown now has pretty dampened our sex life. There is no routine because essentially time means nothing. Late sleep-ins mixed with late bedtimes means we are both completely outta sync with each other. This saddens me and equally turns me into a bitch! I cannot really control either emotion. I am a really physical creature – I need to feel love. I miss having my husband to myself. I miss his kisses and I miss his touch. Most of all, I miss him wanting me. I hate feeling like this and it is hard to stop myself spiraling down a hole of self hate all because I don’t feel wanted.

I equally feel guilty having and feeling all these emotions because I am still so lucky to have my husband with me. I really feel for those who don’t have their person with them and I have typed and deleted this post many times because I feel horrible even sharing I feel like this but it is my space to share my feelings and I need to get them out of my head.

I have been coping. And then twitter happened. And lots of other RL stuff happened and Boom!!! Today is the day my head has finally had enough. I woke up teary-eyed. I have spent the day with tears in my eyes and right now, I am heading for a shower and most likely will cry in there too.

I don’t usually cry. I guess my body needs a release, it needs to clear the air.

___________________

an image called fresh air of me me in the shower curled up

_____________________

 

 

 

Sinful Sunday

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17 Comments

NPE June 20, 2020 at 6:19 pm

Sorry you lost an account. I’ve backed off Twitter voluntarily. There is a reason it’s been called the toilet of the internet.

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fridayam June 20, 2020 at 6:30 pm

I hope you feel better soon lovely lady x

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Silverdom June 20, 2020 at 6:32 pm

Oh LSB!

Your feelings are valid.

Thinking of you.

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Muse June 20, 2020 at 6:34 pm

Sending inadequate hugs x

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Nikki June 20, 2020 at 6:43 pm

This was a beautiful, intimate post. Thank you for sharing and I hope things get back to some semblance of normal for you <3

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Collaredmichael June 21, 2020 at 11:30 am

This pandemic certainly is having an effect on all of us. My Queen and I have had wonderful moments and then moments of disconnect. It’s the stress of the situation and having to deal with it regularly. Still we know we love each other and we are always here for each other. It will get better.

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Julie June 21, 2020 at 4:18 pm

Hey lovely. Thinking of you. We all need time to just be sometimes. This has been just so hard on us all, take time to just workout how to rediscover yourselves. xx

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kitten June 21, 2020 at 10:30 pm

That’s a heartbreaking image. And you are absolutely allowed to find it hard and to talk about why you’re finding it hard. Your struggle doesn’t negate the struggles of others, we’re all allowed to find different things difficult.
Take care of yourself and let yourself feel whatever you feel.

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Molly June 21, 2020 at 10:32 pm

Hugs my friend. Your feelings are real and valid and I am sorry you are having a tough time right now

molly

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Annie savoy June 22, 2020 at 12:25 am

Oh girl, I feel this post so hard. I also know I have it easier than many but this pandemic has been TOUGH. I too have cried a lot and it feels like nothing will ever be right again. Tho I know it will… I’m sending you hugs across the ocean. Know that this too shall pass.

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Brigit Delaney June 22, 2020 at 3:22 pm

I feel so much empathy for you. And I hope a break does you some good. This is a hard, weird, stressful time, and when the things that normally bring you comfort are not, I can see how that would cause a serious spiral. My thought are with you. (You have every right to share and your feelings are valid…no matter how much worse off others may be.)

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David Mei June 22, 2020 at 5:05 pm

Beautiful sharing of tough thoughts. Taking a break from social media is a good thing. I’ve avoided twitter but Facebook and Instagram have their own issues too. Staying off the news is also helpful for my soul. And the occasional inner thunderstorm helps clear the air. Let it out, don’t hold back. Feel the feels and explore where they are coming from then let them go. If they have a lesson learn, if they give a call to action do. But most importantly love. Love yourself and everyone who is worth loving.

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Bee June 22, 2020 at 5:27 pm

This is so hard on us all for all sorts of reasons. I understand your words only too well, knowing I, wanted is key to who I am and when I’m not wanted it hurts so fucking much.

I want to give you the biggest hug, you know where I am if you want to chat xx

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Quinn Rhodes June 22, 2020 at 10:43 pm

I’m really sorry that you’re struggling. As others have said, your feelings are valid and I’m glad you were vulnerable and shared this with us.

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Godemiche June 23, 2020 at 12:01 am

It takes courage to share your emotions and not so happy feelings. It’s good to clear the air so you should tap yourself on the back. Well done and thank you for sharing.

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Jaime Mortimer June 23, 2020 at 3:42 am

Thank you for being so open about your feelings.And sympathy and hugs from down under.

That’s a lovely, moody photo. And though it expresses sadness, it’s also quite beautiful.

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DeviantSuccubus June 23, 2020 at 11:58 pm

It sounds like the changes that the lockdown has brought on for you have been quite negative and you are now really feeling the effects. I am so sorry to hear that and I hope that your physical needs will soon be met again, so your emotional health is going ti improve <3

Reply

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