John Thomas Sampson Squirting Dildo

So in my time as a reviewer (over 7 years now), I have never received anything that I have refused to actually try, until now. Enter the John Thomas Sampson Squirting Dildo.

Well, I guess refused is the wrong word to use but, equally, I guess it is not. Of course, sadly, this is completely down to me and I take full responsibility for it. Well actually if I am being 100% honest, which I always am on here – it’s my husband’s fault and he doesn’t have a profile to defend himself so I’ll go with that 😉

When the lovely folks over at John Thomas Toys asked me to pick a toy out, I immediately ran with grabby hands over to Sampson, the squirting dildo because as big as my toybox is, I am still a squirting dildo virgin so I just had to try one out. Next, we had to decide between the sizes and the Sampson is available in 4 different sizes, 7”,9”,12″ and 16″. So they are all different lengths but what I didn’t actually check was the girth. Usually, myself and my OH pick toys out together the Sampson was always going to be picked because as I mentioned, squirting dildo virgin. I had originally picked out the 9″ because most of my toys are between 6 and 9 inches anyway so I figured it would be most suited to me. My OH, however, thought it would be fun having the extra length to play with as I currently have no toys sporting that kind of length in my toybox. I looked at the stats below and spotted the insertable length was 10.5″ but it did sounds rather fun – still bigger than anything I own and a few emails over and back later because I had originally picked 9″, my order was swapped.

Sampson Squirting Dillo stats from the John Thomas website:

Overall height:  12 inches  /   30.48 cm

Overall length:  13.4 inches  /   34.20 cm

Base height:  2 inches   /   5.08 cm

Insertable length:  10.5 inches   /   26.67 cm

Circumference (penis head):  7.8 inches   /   19.81 cm

Circumference (middle of shaft):  9 inches   /   22.86 cm

Circumference (bottom of shaft):  9.5 inches   /   24.13 cm

Circumference (base):  13 inches   /   33.02 cm

*Weight:  1376g   /   3.03 lbs (*variable)

However, as I mentioned – I failed to look at the girth and I am by no means a size queen and holy Jesus, did I nearly die when I retrieved it out of the box to realize how big it actually is. The John Thomas Sampson Squirting Dildo in this size is most definitely for a more advanced used than I. The toy arrives in a black velvet storage bag and comes with a hygienically sealed flexi-tube and a syringe. The toy also comes with lube so you can start to play straight away. The lube is really runny, in fact, it resembles water in it consistency.

I am utterly sickened because the silicone feels so good <3 I opted for medium shore silicone, which isn’t squishy-squishy but still has a decent amount of squish to it. A LOT of silicone is used to make the John Thomas Sampson Squirting Dildo – over 3 pounds of it to be precise. It honestly is such a pretty toy with marbled colours running throughout it. A mix of black, gold and pink fused together.

The toy is full of pronounced ridges, thanks to all those veins and huge quite a bulbous head. It honestly would for someone who enjoys textures as well as size.

I haven’t used the squirting feature because I didn’t see much point. I may end up putting the tube at some point and who knows, use the squirty feature and have our very own bukkake party – who knows lol. But I do know it won’t be used for its real purpose and that saddens me greatly.

I would take a lesson from my experience as a prime example to make sure you read everthing and undertstand would you are picking/buying.

If interested, you can purchase your own Sampson from John Thomas Toys here

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The Sampson was sent to me in exchange for an honest and impartial review this however in no way changes my opinion on the item. What I honestly think, you read! All images displayed are taken by myself!

No affiliate links have been used in this post.

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