So in my time as a reviewer (over 7 years now), I have never received anything that I have refused to actually try, until now. Enter the John Thomas Sampson Squirting Dildo.
Well, I guess refused is the wrong word to use but, equally, I guess it is not. Of course, sadly, this is completely down to me and I take full responsibility for it. Well actually if I am being 100% honest, which I always am on here – it’s my husband’s fault and he doesn’t have a profile to defend himself so I’ll go with that π
When the lovely folks over at John Thomas Toys asked me to pick a toy out, I immediately ran with grabby hands over to Sampson, the squirting dildo because as big as my toybox is, I am still a squirting dildo virgin so I just had to try one out. Next, we had to decide between the sizes and the Sampson is available in 4 different sizes, 7”,9”,12″ and 16″. So they are all different lengths but what I didn’t actually check was the girth. Usually, myself and my OH pick toys out together the Sampson was always going to be picked because as I mentioned, squirting dildo virgin. I had originally picked out the 9″ because most of my toys are between 6 and 9 inches anyway so I figured it would be most suited to me. My OH, however, thought it would be fun having the extra length to play with as I currently have no toys sporting that kind of length in my toybox. I looked at the stats below and spotted the insertable length was 10.5″ but it did sounds rather fun – still bigger than anything I own and a few emails over and back later because I had originally picked 9″, my order was swapped.
Sampson Squirting Dillo stats from the John Thomas website:
Overall height: Β 12 inches Β / Β 30.48 cm
Overall length:Β 13.4Β inches Β /Β Β 34.20Β cm
Base height:Β 2Β inches Β /Β Β 5.08Β cm
Insertable length:Β 10.5Β inches Β /Β Β 26.67Β cm
Circumference (penis head):Β 7.8Β inches Β /Β Β 19.81Β cm
Circumference (middle of shaft):Β 9Β inches Β /Β Β 22.86Β cm
Circumference (bottom of shaft):Β 9.5Β inches Β /Β Β 24.13Β cm
Circumference (base):Β 13Β inches Β /Β Β 33.02Β cm
*Weight:Β 1376g Β /Β Β 3.03 lbs (*variable)
However, as I mentioned – I failed to look at the girth and I am by no means a size queen and holy Jesus, did I nearly die when I retrieved it out of the box to realize how big it actually is. The John Thomas Sampson Squirting Dildo in this size is most definitely for a more advanced used than I. The toy arrives in a black velvet storage bag and comes with a hygienically sealed flexi-tube and a syringe. The toy also comes with lube so you can start to play straight away. The lube is really runny, in fact, it resembles water in it consistency.
I am utterly sickened because the silicone feels so good <3 I opted for medium shore silicone, which isn’t squishy-squishy but still has a decent amount of squish to it. A LOT of silicone is used to make the John Thomas Sampson Squirting Dildo – over 3 pounds of it to be precise. It honestly is such a pretty toy with marbled colours running throughout it. A mix of black, gold and pink fused together.
The toy is full of pronounced ridges, thanks to all those veins and huge quite a bulbous head. It honestly would for someone who enjoys textures as well as size.
I haven’t used the squirting feature because I didn’t see much point. I may end up putting the tube at some point and who knows, use the squirty feature and have our very own bukkake party – who knows lol. But I do know it won’t be used for its real purpose and that saddens me greatly.
I would take a lesson from my experience as a prime example to make sure you read everthing and undertstand would you are picking/buying.
If interested, you can purchase your own Sampson from John Thomas Toys here
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The Sampson was sent to me in exchange for an honest and impartial review this however in no way changes my opinion on the item. What I honestly think, you read! All images displayed are taken by myself!
No affiliate links have been used in this post.
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3 Comments
Wow! The size reference picture of it by your arm…that would be a “no way!” for me too.
That toy is huge!! My Queen would also say βpassβ.
Raises hand! Currently expanding my ‘large toys’ collection. This one looks like a worthy addition. I’m currently having the exact opposite problem with my new addition