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BDSM Diaries: Self Inflicted Pain and coping with dry spells in play

posted by LSB November 22, 2019 8 Comments

Oh, this section of my blog is far less active than I would like and this post is a long time coming for several reasons but the main one is I didn’t want to write or admit it. I don’t hide who I am on here, in fact, it is probably the only place where I am and can be 100% me so if you are a regular here, you will already know my posts of late have been quite sad. There are many reasons behind that.

BDSM Diaries: Self Inflicted Pain and coping with dry spells in BDSM

This is the biggest one. This summer took its toll on our playtime – we were ships in the night and pretty much coped(?) with quickies all summer. Anything that inflicted pain ( the good kind) was left buried away, much to my sadness. And as a result, my love of self-inflicted pain was born. I spoke about it in here in this post – Self Injury and Masochism – and this summer, I have learned that I *really* need that pain. Before when we were more active, I guess it was given. I never had to *really* want it or even feel like I *needed* it as it was there. It kept my head in order, I was constantly getting the release I needed. And I took that feeling for granted.

Over the summer, I have learned that the easiest way to get pain in a solo play session is through my nips. I can use one hand to control those and the other to play. Don’t get me wrong – it takes more work. I have to “set everything up” I guess is the best way to describe it but it gives me back what I need so it is basically how I survived my wants throughout the lonely summer. It helped me cope.

We own quite a few various types of nipple clamps and most are hard to use on your own or just plain outright shite! I have found these, to be the best clamps to use. Not because the vibrations are decent, oh god no, but because they are wired. I clip them in place, now, I *really* clamp them down so I have quite a significant amount of skin. The length of the wires allows me to be able to wrap them around my hand so a) I don’t lose them and b) I can achieve the “pull” I need. I don’t use them as vibrating clamps so they aren’t attached to the box that powers them. With my other hand, I use a toy or whatever to get me off while kinda tugging away at the clamps with my other hand. A lot of multi-tasking goes on here!! Once, I am close those clamps will be still attached but with less skin and just as I come, I pull really hard. So hard they, in fact, come free and my orgasm heightens and I get release. Pain from the pull, the pinch as they snap off and then, the sweet sensations that come as blood flows back.

 

This lead me to want to explore different ways I could, I guess, torture my nips and when a company I regularly work with reached out and asked what I would like to try next, nipple pumps seemed like the perfect choice. Along with those, I also chose a beautiful flogger with balls, and much to my delight happens to be light enough for me to use on myself.

 

The pumps are something I had been wanting to try after trying a pussy pump, I had half an idea they would give that pulling, tugging sensation I enjoy but with less work required to achieve what I needed, I am a lazy wanker after all, and they did, for a bit. You can check them out here if you fancy a look (shoutout to Orion for sending then <3)

They worked similar to the pussy pump – put in position and use the squishy grenade looking bit to pump away. On the side, there’s a button, which is the air release valve button, should you require it. I used to pump and then release and continue this pattern quite quickly to get the sensation I wanted. It was like someone was sucking, pulling and biting all at the same time. A seriously enjoyable sensation and I had found my new toy. The release was incredible. And if you follow my twitter, you’ll have seen tweets about it. My nips were extremely sensitive afterwards and held that “just pumped” look for quite some time. This I really enjoyed – pain rushed to my nipples whenever they brushed against fabric or if the cold made them wince up, I got shivers of pain run through my body simultaneously and it was glorious.

 

I was coping. The self-inflicted pain was seriously helping me get what I needed all summer long.

However, now we are together more and I see Him more, it really isn’t cutting it anymore. I need more. I need Him back. But before we go back to play, I am currently enjoying what it was like before we introduced BDSM into our lives and I feel at peace with that.

Sometimes, I feel you need to strip back and remember why you are a couple… More blogs coming as we rekindle so watch this space.

Read more about our BDSM journey here 

lsb

WickedWednesday

 

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8 Comments

Marie Rebelle November 22, 2019 at 4:39 pm

With our play as low as it is, I am totally intrigued by your doing-it-self-play and think I might just have to explore it. Thank you for sharing, and yay for reconnecting! You are right, sometimes you have to take a step back and remember why you are a couple.

Rebel xox

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LSB November 22, 2019 at 9:17 pm

Honestly Marie, I actually think would have cracked up during the summer without it. My own issue is I can’t inflict the pain I want myself but I do get damn close.

Let me know if you try it, I’m interested to see what you think x

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May More November 27, 2019 at 4:45 pm

Really interesting post LSB – I would not be great at inflicting pain on my self in the way u describe – I suppose i don’t yearn for that but I can see how it can help – though one thing i do put myself through every now and then is putting my hands under very hot water until every bit of me in tingling – I only just realised that! I get eczema and it helps relieve that.
and I look forward to reading about your play when u resume – for now enjoy the stepping back x

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Francesca Demont November 27, 2019 at 6:14 pm

Great post, and I’m sure there are many who can find some inspiration in how to cope with dry-spells. Great call on the nipple clamps, by the way. Deserves an entire topic on its own.

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Kayla Lords November 28, 2019 at 1:51 am

I absolutely relate to the ships passing in the night thing. We’re surviving on weekly quickies and a bit of mutual masturbation but more is definitely needed.

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PurpleSole November 29, 2019 at 10:48 am

Sometimes we need that alone time to figure out what we need and we learn from the dry spells. Enjoy getting back together more and rekindling.

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November 2019 ~ Earning While Learning #SoSS - Sex Matters by May More November 30, 2019 at 10:02 am

[…] Switch Bitch ~ I found this post about self inflicted pain fascinating and it made me realise something about myself […]

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MLSlavePuppet December 1, 2019 at 12:58 pm

I can relate to this a lot. I feel the need to feel pain sometimes and because there’s no one to have that session with me, in my case, I have started looking for ways I can inflict it on myself. I like how you started trying different things you could do to your nipples. I used to use nipple clamps every time I orgasmed because the pain just added something. Nowadays I’m more reluctant to fully torture my nipples because they seem to have become more sensitive over the years.

I hope you’ll be able to experience the pain more often in your dynamic, because nothing can really replace that!

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