Memes

BDSM Diaries: Self-Injury and Masochism – #sb4mh

posted by LSB March 10, 2019 2 Comments

Last week I took part in Sex Bloggers for Mental Health for the first time, spurred on by fellow bloggers to share an image of myself covered in positive words to help promote a healthy mental outlook towards my body. Taking part has encouraged me to dip my toes in and try to take part more in actual word based memes so here I am.

I personally think the Sex Bloggers for Mental Health meme is fantastic – it targets a new topic each week and you can choose to write about that topic or just take part with something you wanna talk about… It allows a lot of topics relating to mental health to be found in one place and is a fantastic resource for folk.

This week the topic is Self Harm and more specifically – ‘what is your opinion about the relationship between self-injury and masochism?’.

 

Before I connect the two I want to talk a little about me. I self-harmed as a teenager – however, no one knew. I originally started doing it as frankly I was a bold shit and I rebelled. I came from a troubled background and no one saw me. I wanted to be seen.

But no one saw those marks and no one has ever really known I self-harmed because once I started doing it, I realised I was no longer doing it for attention – I was doing it because I enjoyed it. This period of my life lasted for a few months – I dunno maybe 6 or 7. I eventually stopped mainly for aesthetic point of view – I didn’t want to be covered in scars. However, in those few months, I learned I enjoyed pain. It was the release – I enjoyed feeling warm blood trickle down my arms. I enjoyed the smell and I enjoyed the taste of blood.

 

What makes this all even stranger is, as an adult – I hate blood unless it has an erotic twist involved with it. If my children get busted up in the garden, it is my husband who will do the cleanup. However, show me a beautiful woman covered in blood and my pulse starts racing.

BDSM Diaries: Self-Injury and Masochism -

So to talk a little more about this week’s topic – what is your opinion about the relationship between self-injury and masochism? Are they connected?

Personally, for me, I think it is very much down to the individual and the circumstances behind it. I think one can lead to the other – I believe going from my own personal experiences I most definitely understand how it can happen that way. I identify as a masochist. I have not always identified that way but have always had that streak in me but didn’t know how to express it.

Fast forward on many years later, I no longer self-harm when it comes to blood loss but it wouldn’t be unusual for you to walk into my house and find me pinwheeling myself or hitting myself with a flogger.

Would you class that as self-harm?

I don’t!

It is release. The same release I get when my husband ties me up, the same release I get when pain is inflicted on my body. My head seems to align correctly. I notice when it has been a while since I felt this pleasurable pain, my thoughts seem to feel muddled. If anything identifying as a masochist is allowing me to selfheal…

What are your thoughts on this? Leave a comment below or perhaps get involved for this weeks discussion. Click on the banner below to read more….

 

mental health monday, sb4mh, mentalillnessfeelslike

You may also like

2 Comments

May More March 10, 2019 at 3:11 pm

Thanks for joining in again LSB – another important issue – and one that is more common than one would think. I agree about pain being a release but hopefully, what you do to achieve that is a more positive experience now xx

Reply
LSB March 10, 2019 at 3:16 pm

<3

I genuinely think it wasn’t a negative for me.. I know folk will prob think it was but I enjoyed that time in my life once I discovered the release to have me… I would love to dip into knife play too and I think it prob stems from that time…

Reply

Leave a Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: