Home random musingsRamblings When highly sexed leads to highly vexed

When highly sexed leads to highly vexed

by LSB

When I polled this the other night I genuinely was overwhelmed at the resounding yes! And also the support I received from other bloggers and readers – so first things first, thank you <3

When highly sexed leads to highly vexed – life in the fast lane.

There’s a lot going on in my house – god there’s a lot going in most houses but I am usually quite private about mine. I am recently sharing more and more about my life and the most recent snippet of info I disclosed into the world is I am working full time, attending college, being full-time wife, mum and housekeeper (read wench) too – yes, it’s a hell of a lot to deal with and no it probably doesn’t make sense how I manage it all but I gotta keep some secrets, eh?!

One thing I have noticed is I am so tired, all the bastarding time. I am a highly sexed person – I have always been since I first learned how to wank (You can read about that here) but as soppy as I sound, my OH is really the person who found the growing seed and nourished it. Though, if you ask him he might tell ya he wished he poisoned it a bit – lol.

Being highly sexed isn’t all it cracks up to be – it’s hard, excuse the pun, to find someone to match you. Now my OH comes damn close but he still isn’t high sexed as I am. Now add in our jobs, college, kids etc…. it makes sexy time all that much harder. I want it, he doesn’t, he wants it, I don’t and then, of course, there are times we both do but god help us, neither of us has the energy to even lift a leg. There have certainly been nights where a little wiggle and jiggle has happened just to get each other off.

There is nothing worse in my opinion than your body twitching telling you what it needs. It really pisses me off – I want to scream into the eternal void and turn off the fucking switch that turns me on…. I feel like a fraud.

As I write this in my drafts, I have one sex toy post, one on massage candles and another on restraints and I just want to light a flame under them all. I have no interest in anything. I see bloggers claim to have a writers’ block all the time and while I have definitely suffered from that, I’ve never felt how I do now. I feel like a failure and that feeling stops me from being able to write. And the circle repeats. I am pushing myself to finish this piece in a bid to help myself. I need to finish college work as there is deadline ticking away and soon enough it will arrive and my half-finished article won’t be good enough! I just need to find the motivation.

I’m a sex blogger who doesn’t have time for all the sex, all the time because that’s what folks think we do and I need to tell you all now, we don’t.

My sex drive for my husband is very much there – my sex drive for toys, however, isn’t. I do have another post coming on this-this post wasn’t about all that but the two dip into each other so it’s why those words have spilled onto this page.

However, it isn’t all that bad.

Lack of energy for strenuous activity has given many more opportunities for mutual masturbation and cuddles – something that can often be forgotten about when you just want to jump the bones of each other. One thing I have noticed though and I wanna whisper this bit in case my ‘not really a squishy cuddly type’ OH hears me but I think the lack of my presence around especially at certain times of the day has made him a little more squishy.

He holds my hand in bed, just randomly and this melts me or I get huge bear hug cuddles. I genuinely didn’t think me working would affect him as much but it has, and I am secretly enjoying knowing this because it shows me he is a little more squishy than I thought. I woke the other morning hearing my older kids say – ‘Awwh look how cute they are – they are asleep holding hands!’.

It’s funny I drafted a chunk of this post last week and I have actually had more sex this week than I did last month. It’s amazing how a few days can change things. I guess life has started to settle more into a routine. However, not one toy was used. Argghhhh here again, I speak about toys. It’s hard. A lot of my blog focuses on sex toys… *Zips lips* I will finish the other post and then it should make more sense!

But in the meantime, I dunno what to do with myself. I find Twitter triggering so I am not there as much, I want to be though because as much as it triggers me, it is also the place where I have met some of the most wonderful people…. I see folk pushing out new content and I feel shit I am not doing the same. I feel I should be and I can’t. I can’t write reviews on stuff I haven’t fully tested, I can’t publish the posts I haven’t completed.

My sex drive isn’t gone. It’s very much there. It’s me that’s the problem. I just don’t wanna waste minutes, valuable minutes on something, I want to spend them on someone.

I feel lost.

 Highly sexed leads to highly vexed.





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Floss December 11, 2018 - 4:48 pm

You know what LSB I am so feeling you on this even though my reasons why are totally different to yours and the base issue for me isn’t having a high sex drive because I never have that, but I get the desire to want to do something but life just wearing you out a little too much to make anything happen and wanting the energy you do have to be spent on the right things. This balancing act of life ain’t easy that is for sure. I am certain we will find our way back to our own equilibrium soon though and the meantime we just have to give ourselves a break for not doing it all (easier said than done I know). Fabulous post and a great conversation to start x

Elliott December 11, 2018 - 6:32 pm

High sex drive is just a phrase. It comes and goes. Your sex drive that is there, is the important one. Toys are fun, but fun can’t be forced, the toy is only a tool. Just keep being a wife, a mum, a wench, and a sexy schoolgirl, it will all work out just fine.

p.s. who were the fuckers in the 4%!?!?

fridayam December 11, 2018 - 7:05 pm

I loved this post, LSB. The side of work that is often forgotten is that, while it makes you tired, it also often makes you more sexually aware. The chemicals released in the brain by work well done, the presence of others of both sexes, the sense of satisfaction at achievement or learning something , all sharpen the senses including sexuality. I am often away from home working, and when work has been good I am both exhausted and horny in equal measure, and equally frustrated! Well said. I hope your work and your studies make the agony worthwhile x

Cara Thereon December 11, 2018 - 7:49 pm

I’m not a sex toy writer (obviously), but me and writer’s block are BFFs at times. I totally get this. It’s a lot of the same feelings honestly. Hang in there though. You’ll get your mojo back.

Zebra Rose December 12, 2018 - 10:13 am

I totally get you – I go through patches where I’m just too damn tired to wank, let alone write. My body still wants ALL TEH SEXY but my brain is wrung out and numb so I just can’t manage it. I have a very high sex drive also and without an outlet; it can turn to anger and self-recriminations made worse by tiredness 🙁
When in doubt; cuddles. Maybe not a topic that many people will be titillated by but oh, so restorative for the cuddlers. Wishing you many of them

Myownlibertine December 12, 2018 - 10:18 pm

To help with energy, take vitamin B-12 with folate if you can get it. Most very busy people never have enough. It helps with energy.

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