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BDSM Diaries: My collar and what it means to me

posted by LSB October 18, 2018 10 Comments

This post has been a long time coming mainly because I worry folk might not fully understand what I am trying to portray. Do you wear a collar? If so, for a second think about what it means to you. If you don’t and wonder why folk do, well in particular why I do, then I am hoping my post helps you understand why.

If you follow me on my blog, on my Twitter or even any of the other social media platforms I hover about on, you will at some point have seen the white beaded necklace that never leaves my neck. (If not, that is it in the above image). It was put on there in September 2014 and bar two weeks, has never left it since. Well, there is one exception to that – unless it is being replaced by another collar. We have a few different types – all with different sentiments behind them. I’ll elaborate on those further down.

Those two weeks I was without my collar where beyond my control. During that time I worked in an environment that was going through new managerial change and my manager enforced a strict no jewellery policy. It was during this time I really discovered how important each of those white beads that sat on that metal string around my neck, really were. I remember the feeling of panic setting in. Those beads meant so much more to me than a collar because, at that point, those beads weren’t actually a collar. Well, they were – but it wasn’t ever set in stone. This incident made me realise that the day collar we had been looking for, to put on my neck, had actually been there all along.

So again I ask you, what does your collar mean to you?

To me, it is my OH with me, his calming influence around me, His reassurance, His protection and His love. I belong to Him, for Him to use me as He sees fit.

We are in D/s, Top/bottom relationship – whatever you want to call it. (I’m the sub/bottom – just to clarify!) I won’t label what we are because we are both those things and often very much more. I’m not really one for sticking labels on anything with the one exception of being labelled – His -. So our playtime is very fluid and labels don’t exist and we are very happy with that. We have dabbled in this lifestyle for quite a number of years – maybe 7 – maybe more. I canny remember exactly when but my collar is only on my neck 4 years and my wedding band on my finger a little over 3. Yet, my collar is more significant to me than my wedding band. I guess that’s quite a strange statement to get your head around but we have always lived like husband and wife. Since day 1 of our relationship, it has always been us, together. We moved in together quite soon and have been rarely separated since. I can count on one hand how many times. So in a way, it feels like my wedding band has always been there.

My collar, however, is different.

The placement of my collar was me giving myself completely to him. I am his.

My day collar usually gets removed during playtime and replaced by a more robust model – and it is usually determined by His mood. Metal can sometimes mean rougher play but it isn’t always the case and He likes to switch it up so I don’t know what to expect. We have quite a few different collars (some have been reviewed here) – leather ones, metal ones, a silicone one and also collars that are built in as part of a harness. I love them all. I feel proud to wear one and beam with pride in it.

So LSB – do you have a favourite collar?

I want to say the metal one with ‘M’ in it is my favourite but I do love them all. (It’s the collar in my header <3) That one though I feel has special meaning as it was the first metal one we bought and I often refer to Him as M – Master, Maker, Mine. Though that has changed over time and more so than not, I am asked to call him Sir, however, this is always open to change. My day collar means the most out of all of them though <3

The beads of the day collar had become loose and they ended up falling off and ending up everywhere one day. Sir collected them all and replaced them on a new metal string – except this time added in new beads. I cannot word or even express how much it melted me that he had fixed it. It was one of the most amazing, sweetest things anyone has ever done for me and I love my collar even more so since. He placed those beads – each bead got a new home and my collar got the addition of beads that He put there <3

My day collar is my security blanket. I wear it with pride and as a mark of respect. It is much, much more to me to than a few white beads on a metal string – it is me telling the world I’m owned, loved and His.

image is of me proudly displaying my collar

Read more about our BDSM journey here. If you enjoyed this post – please pop me a comment, I’d love to hear your thoughts.

lsb

 

No affiliate links appear in this post, nor it isn’t sponsored.

 

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10 Comments

Violet Grey October 18, 2018 at 1:49 pm

I loved reading this! And beautiful collar by the way! 🙂

Reply
LSB October 18, 2018 at 1:49 pm

Thank you so much <3 Xx

Reply
Asha October 20, 2018 at 12:50 pm

This was beautiful and I felt the energy put into this post. Thank You for sharing this.

Reply
jg fisher October 18, 2018 at 7:57 pm

Wonderful writing. Lovingly explains why we who are bound to another appreciate physical symbols. Thank you

Reply
Cousin Pons October 18, 2018 at 9:59 pm

Beautifully and tenderly written. I knew nothing of the relationship you describe until a year or so ago and I am very grateful to be able to read about your loving relationship. Thank you LSB for opening my eyes.

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LSB October 18, 2018 at 10:02 pm

Thank you so much for such a lovely comment, Pons Xx

Reply
Curious Mermaid October 19, 2018 at 9:29 am

I really liked this! It’s lovely to read people’s personal stories. You are so right- the collar is a symbol of so much more than what it looks like to the average observer. I also like the white bead version you have found to wear to work- I might look into this as currently we only have a leather one that’s not really work appropriate!

Anyway, well expressed, thank you for sharing.

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LSB October 19, 2018 at 1:34 pm

Thank you so much 🙂

I hope you can find a suitable alternative x

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Anna O'Keefe October 19, 2018 at 9:50 pm

I loved your blog. It is clear that you two have a loving relationship that works well for both of you. I am just starting this journey, coming into my own understanding what a sub means to me, how I have Identified and embraced my true self. Collars are still something I do not totally understand. So thank you for your wonderful description of what it means.

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missy October 21, 2018 at 10:19 pm

I also wear a day collar and am similarly attached to it. Panic sets in if I don’t have it on for some reason and feel the same about its meaning as you do so I can really identify with what you have written here. A great post 🙂

Reply

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