Masturbation – Why is it important? Why I started to masturbate? Well, duh ! It felt good. But why I haven’t stopped since is a lot more important…
This is a conversion I’ve had many times but still to this day I can’t actually remember what age I was when I first jacked off. 11 or 12 keeps popping into my head so I guess it was around then. I don’t remember what drew my attention my clit but I do remember how powerful my orgasms were. I used to flick my outer labia against my clit and it would take me at least an hour to explode. I’m not bloody surprised after all that work up – I used to black out afterwards. It was ace! I remember the brain wave of actually doing directly to my clit and it didn’t take so long but the direct stimulation did dampen how strong my orgasms were so I didn’t do it every time. I played on my belly. In fact, it is only really when we introduced toys into our relationship that I started to play in other positions.
I have always been open about the fact I masturbate to sexual partners – some were surprised, others were threatened by it. And I think this is why I faked a lot of orgasms. Isn’t that a very sad statement. I wasted so much time on idiots that were only interested in their pleasure – I still get mad at myself. In fact, the only person I have never faked coming with – I am married to him. Things have always been different with him – I matter to him. My pleasure matters to him. And as a result, my sexual experiences and needs have changed because the level of trust there allows me to be me. I feel sexually free.
Masturbation is so important and it maddens me there is still so much taboo around the subject.
Like I just tapped masturbation into google and one of the top searches was “What are the defects of masturbation (spelt wrong in the search by the way) if you masturbate daily?” Defects? WTF! The search title leads me to believe that 1. it was searched by a younger person and 2. why does he/she feel it would lead to a defect. Now, I’ll probably ruffle feathers saying this but I feel it is down to the attitude of his parents or guardians, which saddens me greatly.
I am not old by any means but I did however grow up in the awkward times were sex was more out there but still no one talked about it. For example, I went into high school at age 12/13 and still didn’t know what sex was. My 12 year old however knows about it – how much she understands is a different ball game. I didn’t understand about same sex relationships yet the day it came into law that same sex couples could get married I sat down my 12 and 10 year old and explained all about being gay and how it is 100% natural. I know, I am going off topic here a bit but the point I am trying to make is I wasn’t made aware of any of this at the crucial ages I needed to be aware this was OK. It is wonderful my children are growing up in times where sex and sexuality is more out there.
So going back to masturbating – it is 100% natural and everyone should do it. Yes, you. If you aren’t already, start! Well not right now xD As well as having so many health benefits to it, I’ll talk about those in a minute, masturbating is the exact gateway to learning how to orgasm and self love. Please explain to me how your poor partner can make you come if you can’t make yourself?
Now I know there will be exceptions to the rule – medical conditions and whatnot as to why people struggle so please don’t feel like I am not thinking of you because I am but right now I am referring to the folks who whinge that their partners can’t make them come without even bothering to try themselves. That attitude seriously winds me up but at the same time I do wonder if it is because you were made believe it was wrong. And right then, I feel sorry that you were made feel like that because you shouldn’t have been. I have so many conflicting thoughts run through my head when I hear/read things speaking of masturbating in a negative tone because I wonder if it is down to childhood or laziness. And yes – there is a lot of the latter. Speaking from my own experiences – well not my personal experiences but the experiences of someone I used to know. I distinctly remember her bitching at me over her boyfriend never getting her over the finish line. I also remember how disgusted her face was when I asked why she didn’t show him how? Like I had said something vile? She admitted she never had and wouldn’t. Now this was purely down to her thinking it should be his job and why should she even bother. I asked if he had shown her how he like to be jacked off and he had, yet that was normal to her. God, I feel myself getting wound up reliving this. Our friendship changed after that day and surprisingly, sex was never mentioned again! I still think it was down to me basically admitting I’m a wanker.
To go back to the other side of fence – people feeling they can’t masturbate down to parents. Shame on your parents for making you feel that way. But this again was down to uneducated negativity. And I am pretty certain a lot of that stems back to religion but that is a different post altogether. If you tap religion and masturbation into google, you will be told it we shouldn’t be experiencing pleasure of any sort and sex was for procreation only. An American nun, Sr. Margaret Farley was condemned by the Vatican in 2012 for writing a book – ‘Just Love: A Framework for Christian Sexual Ethics’ and explaining how masturbation “actually serves relationships rather then hindering them.” When I read that all I could think was fair fucks to her! Ha – I would have paid to be a fly on the wall in the Vatican that day. It really fucking riles me how religion pays should a big part in a lot of taboos surrounding masturbation.
Please answer honestly – it’s for a piece I’m writing.
Do you think parents’ attitudes contribute to how a child perceives masturbation?
— ℓittleѕwitchвitch (@_LittleSBitch) May 12, 2017
I polled this on Twitter and 74% believed it was down to parents and their benefits. If a child is raised to believe masturbation is wrong, that feeling holds deep within that child and affects them in their adult years. How would you feel if your child grew up feeling some so natural was wrong?
@_LittleSBitch My mum threatened to take me to a therapist when she caught me. Even now I have to be in bed, under covers and alone in the house
— sub-Bee (@sub_bee) May 12, 2017
When sub-Bee replied to this tweet my heart literally went out to her. I dm’d asking if I could this tweet and she linked me this post where she wrote about her feelings towards masturbation and how even now, she is still affected by her mums’ reaction. I personally know 100% as a parent and speaking on behalf of my OH, as parents, it is something I wouldn’t have an issue with. My OH often shouts into our sons room in the morning “hands off cock and on with socks” – LOL 😀 I guess that blunt attitude isn’t for everyone but we are quite open with our children and as a result, they feel quite comfortable talking to us.
Why am I frowned upon for having a wank? Does it bother you I can pleasure myself?
Another thing I want to mention is how it is OK for men to openly speak of masturbation but women get scrutinized for it. I’m not usually one to bang on about the ever going battle of sexes but that fucking riles me. I guess that stems from when I was made felt like that from exes. Oh, how I have learned and if this is a feeling you currently experience, well then tell him pay attention to how you like it or jog the fuck on!
Right – I think I am finished the ranting.
Now let me tell you the benefits to masturbation! THERE ARE LOTS!
Self love – knowing exactly what makes your own body tick is important and empowering. As well as that you can show your partner exactly what you like and enjoy. It can be a great way to introduce mutual masturbation into a relationship.
Orgasms help keep your pelvic floor healthy – each time you orgasm all your muscles clench giving your pelvic floor a work out. These muscles are also the same muscles which control the bladder same applies for men too. And the pelvic floors in men contribute to how hard you get as well as helping to prevent erectile dysfunction too.
Mood Boosting and Anxiety reducing – A lot of feel good pleasure endorphins are released when you jack off which helps to improve your mood and lower your anxiety levels. There are a lot of studies out there that show it reduces depression too. From my own personal experiences, I have mornings easier to deal with if I have jacked off before I’ve hopped out of bed.
You sleep better – YES! This is most definitely accurate . Post orgasmic induced sleeps are the best. I know men just have the ability to conk it once they shot their load but I often do myself, especially since I’ve gotten older. Orgasms are a natural sedative 😀
Helps the heart – Do I need to elaborate on this one. Nothing gets the blood flow pumping like a body shaking, toe curling orgasm. Of course, wanking off is gonna keep your heart healthy.
Reduces prostate cancer and maintains sperm health – Studies have shown regular play sessions help maintain healthy sperm and also helps reduce the risk of prostate cancer. Apparently toxins build up and when you jack off you flush them out.
Last but not least….
It feels good 😀
May is Masturbation Month – a month of self love, self expression and the month you could introduce mutual masturbation into your relationship…. What are you waiting for?