BDSM Diaries

BDSM Diaries : An Intro

posted by LSB July 7, 2016 6 Comments

I’ve toyed with ideas of how I’ll approach this post since before I even bought my domain name! Why? Simply because of what BDSM means to me will be completely different than what it means to you !

As individuals the meaning should differ, but the constant questions of “Is that how it should be?” , “Is this wrong?” or “Is this how I should behave?” tormented my head and my social anxiety really plucked at my gut! 
Yet, here I am writing this, and here’s an insight into my head, you have been warned!

Pain has interested me since my teens, in ways I find a bit too personal to write about here just yet but as a result I realised that even though pain hurt, it simultaneously created a feeling of pleasure in me – a feeling that was going to take years for me to openly admit to.
My first ‘serious’ relationship lasted just under two years and I giggle at the thought of even mentioning my kinks to him. Don’t get me wrong, our sex life was fine – he just wasn’t the type of person that I could admit my kinks to.

It wasn’t until I got with my husband that this side of me came out. We have always had (and still have) a fiery relationship. Even now, nine years on, it’s still there! He knows exactly what to do/say to push my buttons. If my memory serves me correctly, we were together two years before I admitted that I wanted to be tied up and abused! It’s that vulnerability; that need, that want and all the thoughts and scenarios that used to run through my head at the very thought of being that helpless – he wouldn’t have much to do to me before I’d explode!

To help my quest, an under the bed restraint system was bought online. That, with my OH’s hand as a spanking aid was how we pottered along and it was how sex was spiced up for a while until my need progressed. I knew I was a submissive – I have a fairly dominant personality outside the bedroom; but the need to serve and please inside of the bedroom was strong. Though, if you asked my OH, he’d probably disagree! It took time to be put in my place so to speak.

Like most women, I have read Fifty Shades, Yes, I am one of those and no, I don’t refer to it as a bible. Anyway, Fifty Shades, as well as being material to get the juices flowing was also the reason I expressed my need to be submissive (it enabled me to be more open and express to him, and myself the things that I really wanted). To be honest, I knew what it was, what I was – I just didn’t know that it was a thing and for that reason, I’ll be eternally grateful to EL James! That being said, our relationship is far from being the next Christian and Ana; But, that’s an entirely different blog post in itself!

Trying to suss what level of D/s was hard – bedroom only/ full time/ switching?! Each of us completely new to this, both with an eagerness to please each other and with a wall of trust that could take a lot of battering – the foundations were already there, We just needed to see how we fit.

We originally tried switching, that’s how my name originated – my OH calling me his Little Switch Bitch. But, the thought of hurting him was too much for me – to be honest, I struggled a lot with it. Even though my OH actually has a masochistic streak through him, the thought alone made me feel nauseous with worry. “Would I hurt him too much?” or “would I be able to control the pressure correctly?”.

There is definitely more of a sadistic, dominant streak in him so the switching took a back seat and we filled our more suitable roles. 

 

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6 Comments

plain ol' sub July 8, 2016 at 7:19 pm

An interesting read. I get the feeling though that it’s like the seal on Haagen Dazs. Peeling back and licking it is nice, but what’s deeper down is where the good stuff really is.
Please go deeper and share more with us – this post has made me want to know more.

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LSB July 18, 2016 at 10:31 pm

lol Your comment really made me giggle,Sub! Soon…. next part is on the way 🙂
Thanks for your comment 🙂

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Scorpius12 July 14, 2016 at 2:59 pm

I really enjoyed reading this, and I would also love to read more…

Love your blog too 🙂 xx

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LSB July 18, 2016 at 10:30 pm

Thanks hun <3 Your comment means alot hun Xx

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FC Cheng September 1, 2016 at 1:10 am

Hi, how do we broach the topic, my partner has hinted to me before but we were both quite awkward and I didnt know how to reply. I think she is shy and now I dont know how to bring up the topic again. Any tips?

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LSB October 3, 2016 at 1:46 pm

Hi.

I’m really sorry – I completely missed this comment. Sorry :*

Well, if she has mentioned it – it means she’s intrigued and you asking for tips means you are too so the base is already there. How did she mentioned it? Perhaps , treat her to a massage and introduce some sensory items such as a feather or maybe a ball chain whip. Both items add another dimension and can be a great way to heighten the skin to new sensations. \next time, use same items again and add in a flogger. The flogger adds another sensation and depending on the force behind using it can be just as sensual as a feather but can also can a little bite to it. As well as all that, another great way to introduce spanking is maybe give her ass as smack from behind while having sex. See what reaction you get – ask her? Did she enjoy it – if so next apply one apply a little more pressure.

The main thing is all this communication. She doesn’t even to speak – you will know from her facial reactions, moans, body movements etc. But observe and remember.

If I can be of anymore help – please do contact me and again, my apologies in the delay replying.

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